...

Have I not prayed, take me where You will?
Have I not pleaded with You, O'Lord, be magnified through me, use me and place me where you want me?
Did I not say, O'Father in heaven, make me like the Son?

Then why does my soul stir with anxiety and depression in a disobedient way? How come I tirelessly struggle with you Father. I don't want to struggle anymore, I want to do what you ask me, willingly. I don't want to grieve the Spirit, the Holy Spirit within me.

I've heard it said Father, "It is easy for me to do what the Lord commands."

Friends, and brothers alike: imply that if I find difficult your commands, I am in sin!

But O'God, look not away from your servant, I eagerly long to see your face. I pray your hand upon my heart daily, and fervently seek the completion of your kingdom. I confess to you I am a sinner O'God, a sinner! I drove the nails, I slandered Jesus' name, I called Him a liar, forgive me! I now only wish to be humble and obedient.

It is hard for me to love, but I try. It is hard for me to serve, but I try. It is hard for me to pray, but I try. It is hard for me to obey, but I try. Father, must I keep trying? Must I toil O'God day and night before you?

Deliver me from selfish ambition, wrongful doing, lovelessness, self-worth, disobedience, impaired vision, violent speech, slothful living, sexual imorrality, flagrant slander, stiffness of neck, pride and all its shadows, grumbling, physical ailment, condemnation, aggression, and temptation.

Restore unto me the joy of your salvation O'Lord! Be strong in me O'God, for I am weak, I am weak Father! I have not but the Spirit of your Son, in me. Please O'Lord be strong in me.
In Jesus' name.
Amen.